Free the Gnomes

I like to have fun from time to time with this great FamilyFirst gig, but sometimes, I have to turn to a more serious side.

Today, I bring to your attention a group of individuals who has long been heartlessly kept captive by middle-class families like the ones on your street!

The majority of these downtrodden are forced to remain outside, regardless of weather. Howling winds, parching sun, freezing temperatures, severe thunderstorms, it doesn't matter. These brave, lonely souls are left to fend for themselves in the outdoors.

And I don't even want to tell you how neighborhood dogs treat them.

I'm speaking of the brave, but abused garden gnome. Today's FamilyFirst site encourages their liberation. Here's their mission:

Thousands of Gnomes are enslaved in Gardens across America. For too long we have let our neighbors usurp the rights of these gentle woodland creatures.

Join the fight! Begin by supporting the Greman (sic) Embargo. You see, the original of these poor creatures were German by birth. Therefore, among the slave traders, excuse me, collectors, authentic German-born gnomes carry a premium price tag.

As of a higher price was something to be proud of. We're talking about peddling flesh . . . excuse me, concrete!

What else can you do? Well, nobody is suggesting you take the law into your own hands and free any gnomes yourself. But you can work towards letting legislation free them! Write your congressman!

With your help, we can free these oppressed individuals.

http://www.freethegnomes.com

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